In this history of Badassery, only a scant few have the ability to leave an indelible impression of their badassery on your soul. And of those few, how many can say they've done that with less than one minute of face time? Today's entry, Conan the Librarian, is without a doubt, the unrivaled victor of this esteemed category. In a scant 41 seconds you will fear him. You will learn about the dewey decimal system. You will know what dark deeds accompany a late book return. And then he will stay, in the back corners of your mind, until those darkest times of need, when only a champion's champion will see you through the day.To this day, I'm convinced that The Librarian fostered a large sense of pride and acceptance in jock culture that had never existed prior. Before 1989, libraries were the strongholds of academia and if jocks dared enter, the best they could make out of the situation was the occasional construction of a fort made out of those small plastic steps (the ones that helped kids reach those higher shelves). After 1989, the physically fit among us now knew they were welcome to enter these bastions of learning without fear of mockery nor spitballs. Truly, the wrestling captains and quarterbacks of the day were finally able to live their lives to the fullest, confident in the fact they would no longer be pigeon-holed as non-academics. They too had the grits, guts, and snuff to make it as societies top prize: the librarian.
Here's to you, Conan the Librarian, and your revolutionary dichotomy of scholarly pursuits and badass swords. And now, the clip we've all been waiting for:
Badassery Quotient: 170%
What it would take for me to fuck with him/her: Knowledge that my library card was not expired, and I had no outstanding late fees.
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